Dear funmuffins,
How are you all? In the past week, we’ve had boiling hot weather, torrential rain, humid and rainy, freezing cold and that’s about it. We’re just awaiting the locusts but we’ll have to do with the almost non-existent bedbugs instead.
Anyway, in this rip-roaring edition, I will:
Talk shit
Get angry about milk
Show you some photos
Be mysteriously Lupin
…and more!
So, zip that cagoole tight and try to not concentrate on the rain getting into your shoes as we delve into another fun-packed episode!
James x
Shit posting
No, not that sort of shit-posting.
Think more along the lines of posting shit.
It’s weird what we don’t talk about and it’s weirder still when it’s something that could have a profound impact of your life - or hasten the end of it.
When you get to 50 in France, you get a letter through the post and, among other things, it invites you to discuss it’s contents with your doctor. So I did that. I called the doctor and said “Hi, I’ve just got that letter through the post from Mr Macron saying ‘Happy 50th birthday, please shit in this tube’”
Because when it’s something serious, I have to subvert it into something silly. Welcome to my coping mechanisms!
And it is very serious.
Colon cancer is very, very treatable if it is detected early enough. And you don’t really need to shit in a tube - I mean, logistically, that’d be quite difficult… unless it was a big tube, I suppose.
Basically, you do a poo, use the dabber thing and poke it around in your poo, put the dabber in various protective things and send it back. There are also some stickers to stick on things. Not on your poo. That’d be weird.
It is very simple.
And then, in a few days, you get the results back.
Now, it’s probably not normal for me to give over so much of the space of this newsletter to something serious but if you can convince one person not to throw the letter in the bin but to do a poo instead, you could literally save their life.
And that means talking about poo.
And we don’t like to do that.
Or you could just forward them this email and tell them that I’ve been shit-posting again.
Whatever works for you.
Tracking Down Arsène Lupin…
Fans of the excellent Netflix drama, Lupin, will be very familiar with Assane Diop’s friend Benjamin, who has an antique shop to the north of Paris.
So I decided to go and find it.
It was actually quite simple. The shop can be found in off the main Marché des Puces de Saint-Ouen, in the Marché Biron.
The easiest way of finding it is looking for Alexia Say’s shop - which, incredibly, was not changed for filming.
…and finally…
So there it is! There’s no mention anywhere of the filming of Lupin - which, given how popular it has been, seems odd and a wasted opportunity. However, by the same token, the place has a nice feeling to it and it isn’t crawling with people trying to find Lupin’s friend’s antique shop.
Apart from me.
Ruining things so you don’t have to!
Sky News Story Clash
I hope whoever did this on the Sky News app got a payrise.
More Lupin
This advertising display at Les Halles in Paris is very, very clever.
…now take a closer look…
Modern Traditions
I’m assuming that they followed the example of launching ships and smashed a bottle of champagne against this Inauguration poster…
So, these newsletters don’t have some kind of serious message. That’s not the point. They’re just a moment of frivolity and light during the week (or whenever I get around to posting them).
But, that said, every good rule must be broken.
Send this on to your friends who are over 50. Get them to poo in a tube.
They might not thank you directly but it might help them be around for a bit longer to annoy you more.
And then you can talk about Lupin.
Or pooing in a tube.
Stay safe everyone!
James x
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These emails are powered by coffee! If you feel so inclined, thank you! They are hugely appreciated! My buymeacoffee link is at https://www.buymeacoffee.com/jamesmb
The following coffee was kindly provided by @jumpyspiders! It was just off the market where the antique shop of Lupin’s friend is to be found! Thank you!
I just had that test myself. Better than a proper colonoscopy, I’ve been told.
Re: the shop of Lupin’s friend - love the series, have been meaning to go to the St. Ouen flea market ever since I moved to Paris, so thanks for that kick in the butt, to kind of loosely tying both issues together. 😉
Enjoyed this. Had to hunt it down though as it didn't arrive by email. Not yet. You did well knocking this out in work time. Your sneaky face gave the impression you were doing something important.