Dear citizens of nowhere,
How’s life going? Well, I hope!
Here, the wind has died down, for a day at least, and it looks like one of those lovely autumn days that you want to last forever. Except there’s another storm on the way. Hopefully, Orange will fix my telephone line in good time for it to be pulled down by the next storm!
Anyway, on this one week before Black Friday, you can feast your eyes on…
something about a spoon
roof honey
flags
…and much more!
So, before Rishi appoints the Tories’ 17th housing minister since 2010, let’s get on with this!
James x
Me and My Spoon
Regular readers of investigative journal, Private Eye, will know that it occasionally includes an interview column called ‘Me and My Spoon’. In this feature, they interview a celebrity, politician or person in the news about a number of pressing issues such as their favourite spoon or their first spoon. I say ‘or’ but, of course, for many, their first spoon is their favourite spoon. I mean, it’s obvious, isn’t it? The emotional attachment of the first spoon is hard to break…
Anyway, I was pottering around on the great ship BBC iPlayer the other day when I stumbled upon an episode of Saturday Live from 2017. I may have mentioned that audio is my favourite medium and I assume that I’m now listening to Saturday Live from 2017 because I’ve listened to everything up to 2017… or between now and 2017… one or other.
This episode was entitled ‘Alexei Sayle’. Obviously, as a former Tory staffer, I love Alexei Sayle… actually, now I come to think of it, this should have been a red flag (literally and metaphorically!!) and could well explain my transition to rabid #GTTO fanatic.
Back to Saturday Live, I clicked on play and got on with whatever I was doing, looking forward to an hour of the anarchic stylings of the one true godfather of alternative comedy. The idea of him turning the cosy mumblings of Radio 4’s Saturday Live into a chaotic mess was delicious…
What I was treated to was 88 minutes of live action Me and My Spoon. Seriously. The episode includes Alexei and his coffee jar spoon anecdote, chef Cyrus Todiwala and his porridge spoon, Paralympian Martine Wright and her stolen spoons and Barn the Spoon carving a spoon live in the studio.
If you don’t enjoy this frankly mad hour and a half of radio gold, you’re basically dead inside and you should probably rejoin Twitter.
You can listen here. And you so should.
Flags
Things I learnt this week include the fact that Paris buses have a little attachment on the side to allow them to carry a small flag on special days. This was for Armistice Day…
Sosh
Big shout out to Sosh who spent an inordinate amount of time trying to make me believe that my internet box was broken when I, as a non-expert, took the alternative view that the line was broken.
I’ve had enough of experts. Or something.
Hopefully, they’ll be fixing it soon because it’s been over two weeks now and it turns out that mobile data is quite expensive…
Coffee Corner
Regular readers will know that this newsletter is free and I like to keep it like that with the appeal for you to buy me an occasional coffee. In return, not only do I deliver these newsletters but I also give a shout-out to those who have kindly bought me a coffee and also show you a selection of the coffees bought.
A huge thank you to Lynn for her coffee! I had it on the train to Paris as I was writing last week’s newsletter. Train coffee in France (or at least on my line) is Illy and, despite the awful looking cup, it is very nice!
That is, basically, my train kit now - Xiaomi headphones, my old Kobo Glo and a laptop… oh and my mobile (but I was using that to take the photo!). And a coffee!
Thanks, Lynn! :)
No!
Just no.
Roof Honey
It was good to be back in the south of Paris last week. There’s a very different vibe down in the far reaches of town and I find it lovely and relaxing.
It was particularly nice to be back in one of my favourite hotels - the Ibis Styles Meteor Avenue d’Italie. I have stayed there a lot over the years, to the extent that most of the lovely staff know me by name.
This time, to welcome me back for the first time in quite a few months, I was greeted with a really nice note, a book and a pot of honey from the beehive that is situated on the roof of the hotel!
As someone that spends a lot of time in hotels, it’s not unusual to have a little something waiting in my room but this was particularly lovely because, not only is it environmentally friendly, it is very, very closely tied to the life of the hotel.
I’m looking forward to trying it!
PS I really recommend that hotel if you are going to spend any time in Paris!
So Sean Lock
Like many, I was a great fan of Sean Lock and it’s still a bit surreal to thing he is no longer with us.
I stumbled across a story about him and Lee Mack the other day. I don’t want to give away anything about it but, be warned if you are a bit Victorian, it contains ‘language’.
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All Change, Please!
When I walked through Gare Montparnasse the other, I was suddenly a bit more flummoxed than usual.
As you enter the metro system at Montparnasse-Bienvenue, there is usually a set of barriers - some of which work and all of which are designed to ensure that only people with sufficient levels of manual dexterity and mental cunning can get through with a case.
But, this time…
…there were no barriers! They had all been taken away!
Now, let this be a massive warning! YOU STILL NEED TO TAP IN AND VALIDATE YOUR TICKET!
But now you have to hunt down one of the very small number of validator machines.
This is what they look like…
And there aren’t loads of them.
And they’re not well sign-posted.
And if someone who goes to Paris as often as I do didn’t know about this, I reckon this could be a bumper year for fines.
You were warned!
So, is there a new housing minister since you started reading? I mean, statistically, probably.
We’re now, I reckon, one more newsletter away from the safe appearance of the good C word! Dust off the tinsel - we’re almost there! Stollen and mince pies at the ready…
Finally, can everyone keep your fingers crossed that the internet is restored in the next couple of days, please?! That’d be great!
Have a fab week, everyone!
James x
Postscript - Winning at Hotels
If your hotel has one of those ‘boil your own boiled egg’ machine things, get a glass of cold water and drop your boiling hot boiled egg into eat as soon as it’s ready.
Finish your cereal and then peel your egg that is now not going to burn your hands.
If nothing else, it’s fun watching people’s faces as they go from looking at you as if you’re a weirdo to looking at you as if you’re a genius!